My heart is weary to the bone...

She had dreamed of sharing giggles and tears.

Circumstances nudged her towards paths, she would have rather not chose.

They never stuck around - those
                   who she had considered close.

She remembered the time when she played chaperone for the pair of lovebirds 

                - confidante and alibi - 

until their love grew cold and they needed her no more.

Flash forward to the sneaky one,

   chafing under the weight of parental expectations.
This was the 'one', she said to herself.
She poured her heart out; always patiently waiting to be the priority.
The wait ended when celebrating the day she was born 

     was deemed unimportant.

And then there were two
Who
Meant well
But who could never tell
When she felt blue.
Words can only comfort through the emotion they contain.
Kind murmurs don't ease the pain.

When she lost, she lost much -
Her childhood;
Her freedom;
Her innocence;
Her safety net;
Her rose - tinted glasses.

The deepest, most cutting loss
           was her loss of expression.

They - who had been her constant companion through life;
They - who had expressed her joys and sorrows;
They - who had made sense of the madness and turmoil;
They deserted her when she needed them most.

Life leapt forward in it's long - league boots.

The rain washed out the colours of spring
   Before it splashed the trees with burnt umber
          And froze them in time.

The little girl's belief dwindled slowly...
The belief in friendships that lasted forever.
Poof!
The idea of sleepovers and midnight secrets.
 

The craving for that someone who would hold her words like a teddy bear, and whisper their secrets back at her.

The sweet sugar fermented.
The bitter aftertaste still lingers.

Those dusty memories you will find,
    stored in the closet at the back of her mind.

Her heart is weary now.

She used to dance beneath the skies.
Now the heavens are overcast.
Her smile is lost in the past.
In melancholy, she declines
       reminiscing about the time
            when she was young
                     and had stars in her eyes.